Fears and perverse thoughts take hold as the Vail thins
Slave is curled up in her white bathrobe while trying to stay warm. She is looking forward to the orgasm that Master has granted her. She will pleasure herself once she gets her fucked up emotions purged from her being. She is grateful that he was gentle and caring to permit her to resume anal training She hopes with wearing her anal plugs all week it will help to keep her sane and stable. Not to mention it will prepare her for more anal play this weekend if that is Master’s pleasure. She has two meet and greets on Wednesday and she hopes they will become nasty dirty slutty adventures to please him. She hopes Master will permit her to not only fuck their cocks with her mouth, but will be permitted to at least take one to a hotel and fuck. Her time of the month starts next week as well. Who knows what is truly setting her emotions off. Anything to keep sane. Here are the thoughts and fears that keep circling her insane mind. The air is getting colder and the holidays are banging on the horizon. She is grumpy, horny and emotionally chaotic. She is desperately trying to do whatever it takes to please Master with her slutty adventures. She so desperately wants to feel his yummy cock thrusting in and out of her mouth. She wants to feel him stretching her wanting ass and pussy holes. She is afraid that she is boring him. She is afraid that she is has not lost enough weight and therefor has become an undesirable slave and toy. She is afraid that she will never feel his flesh in and on her again. She is afraid she will never be permitted to wrap her mouth around his beautiful cock or feel him thrusting in and out of her holes. She fears that she is not being slutty enough or his proper whore. She is afraid the pics are terrible and she is afraid that the lack of writing has displeased him as well. She is afraid of her fears and her thoughts, she is afraid that… that… that, who knows anymore what she is afraid of. Its October and its getting colder out and the year is coming to a close and she hates her fears. She hates being ruled by the unseen things that may or may not belong to her. Are these really her fears or are these fears that belong to another.
She comes close to tears and she digs her fingernails into her flesh or takes the pen and presses into her flesh. Not hard enough to hurt and mark her flesh permanently. Just hard enough to refocus her emotions away from the crazy senseless chaos that are her fears and emotions slipping. The mantra in her mind, “is this will pass and I will land on my feet as I always do. These fucked up emotions are not mine, so they should not effect me. If I can make it to January 6th all is well, same mantra that went through her head last year when things became insane in her mind around the same time.”
She feels like she is betraying him when she has these fucked up thoughts and she knows they are nothing more then feelings and nothing more. After all if he was truly bored and displeased with her, He would tell her. If he did not want her in his life anymore he would tell her. She is so used to relationships ending after a two year mark and it makes her nervous. She is happy and content in her relationship, granted she misses him terribly when they go through long periods of not being sexually intimate with each other and that makes her nervous at times. But, Master is very good about not allowing it to go on for to long and surprises her with a yummy fuck sessions. She remembers the last one where he instructed her to suck off two strangers and afterwords fucked her pussy with his cock, hands and pussy till she squirted tons amount of sex juices, Hell it took several yummy ache filled days of healing from that fondly remembered romp. She wants this relationship to go on and on in the manner in which it is to organically grow on its own accord. She wants to continue on with their adventurous journey. She wants to be the one that shows how much she cares for him by taking care of the little thing’s he has no time to take care. She likes knowing that he will come home to a tidier home on Fridays after work. She enjoys doing his laundry and keeping the dishes from taking over. She enjoys keeping the cat hair from creating kittens. She wants to continue being the one who he relies on to take care of company when they come over. She wants to be the one who’s mouth and other sex holes are always available to him.
She is actively looking to create slutty adventures to please Master and to stay sane. She is trying hard to suck as much cock to please him. She has decided that she should combine her meet and greets with pics while she blows the potential fuck toy, At least that way she will fulfill her agreement with Master, just in case she does not see the potential fuck toy again. Currently she is looking for at least four males to fulfill an assignment that will please Master.She is getting hot and wet over the thought of four men fucking her holes, using her body as they take her in her mouth, ass and pussy. Thrusting in and out in rhythm, feeling her pussy being stretched as two men double penetrate her dripping wet pussy. Hands stroking her naked flesh, twisting and pinching her sensitive nipples as she cries out in pleasure and pain.
She thinks if she can fulfill some of these he will be happy with her and fuck her senseless. She has thoughts and desires of greeting Master at the door in kneeling position as she fucks the giant dildo in and out of her dripping wet pussy. She imagines that he will either be angry and punish her for using the toy without his permission. Or he will be pleased by her initiative and be all aroused and hard. She imagines him being turned on as he walks in, pulling his throbbing cock out of his pants and thrusting himself in her waiting open painted red mouth. thrusting in and out of her relaxed and welcoming throat. She adores and cares deeply for him, she feels other emotions that are beautiful, but has not been uttered.
Slave just took a writing break to masturbate herself to orgasm and it was yummy. Being on her belly and thinking about all the nasty and perverse things Master will do go her and what she will do on her assignments on Wednesday. She hopes she will be able to hear his voice tomorrow night and Wednesday. Emotions seems to get wacky after she has fucked a stranger and it helps to recenter after she has heard her Master’s voice.